


Slipping Through (Or: Danny Is A Confused Old Man)

by jaythewriter



Series: to know oneself [3]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Dance Clubs, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Makeup Fun, Sloppy confused boy getting drunk, Trans Arin, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaythewriter/pseuds/jaythewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin has finally come fully into who she is, and of course her friends are handling it well- they love her dearly.</p><p>For Danny though, he's finding he loves her a little more than he might expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slipping Through (Or: Danny Is A Confused Old Man)

**Author's Note:**

> I keep saying this series is over but then coming back to it. Just a continuation of the other trans!Arin fics I've made, though this one could also be seen as a stand-alone.
> 
> Content warnings: getting drunk as a coping mechanism, and brief reference to blood. And, no, this isn't a 'gay panic' story, Danny is better than that here. 
> 
> Another disclaimer here- as someone who isn't trans, I have consulted several people who are to make certain I've not done anything unintentionally harmful in this fic toward trans people, especially trans women. If I missed anything, let me know and I'll try my best to be better in the future.

The world is changing so quickly. He can only keep up by the seat of his pants.

Mobile phones, new game systems that produce characters you could reach out and touch, they're so real. Cars become sleek and shiny, shoes following the same red  
trend. Suddenly he doesn't know what's fashionable anymore, and he just gives up, considering himself lucky if he happens upon outfits that do fit his long and lanky frame.

He never lets it get to him. It's hard to, when he's actually amazed by it all. Creative foods, devices that tell you where you are to to the very inch, every new invention that's released that he never could have thought of in a million years-- who could be angry about it? Who could look at these amazing ideas come to life and have a negative thing to say about them?

Then again. He's never met anyone else that has such unending optimism. A serial murderer could look him in the face, covered in blood, and he'd assume the best. Oh, had a little ketchup accident? Don't worry, happens to the best of us.

Dan could have the earth scooped out from under his feet, and be placed on an alien planet. He might look upon it in confusion, flinch at their harsh language that involves screaming at the top of one's lungs, but he'd get used to it. Nothing phases him.

Except finding out that his best friend is a girl.

Arin told him, weeks and weeks ago. She said to use her and she, though she shrugged when she added that she expected people to mess up at first. That, of course, made Danny twice as determined to go above and beyond and hammer the change into his system.

He changed Arin's name on his phone to 'Arin (chick)'. Sometimes he found excuses to bring her up in conversation, so he could force himself to say her and she as much as possible out loud. He may have locked himself in the bathroom between grump sessions so he could shout "SHE!" at the mirror a few times. Mostly because Arin usually doesn't shave when she isn't going to be on camera which is fair, Danny just needs to get the old fashioned idea out of his head that women don't have beards.

And, honestly? Dan thinks he's doing pretty great, it's not like it's /hard/ to make that one simple change. It's the only change Arin has demanded from him since she started dabbling in a case of the Genders, as she calls it.

It's not without its fun either. Suzy, of course, loves Arin all the same, probably loves her twice as much now especially since Arin specifically asks for her to do her makeup now.

Danny, when he happens to be around, tends to duck into the room when Suzy has the powder and paints out. She will start with herself, creating those gorgeous black loops and lines upon and over her eyelids. Arin sits by patiently, very tentative since she has yet to get used to the weight of all that powder on her face.

Usually Suzy will just do up her eyes, make them pop and gleam. Arin would probably divorce her if she went as hardcore as she does on her own face. Maybe she'll give her lipstick that isn't exactly conventional-- the other night, she pranced into the recording room showing off emerald green lips.

Every so often though, Suzy will make her shave (not because she isn't a girl with a beard, but because the makeup doesn't sit well on facial hair), and she'll sit her down for an hour in good lighting. She'll pat and brush and line Arin's face until it seems to transform.

She still is herself in essence, has her quickly growing mane of hair and her round cheekbones. But she.... softens. Her face is less hard lines and more sweet shadows. Suzy sometimes tops it off by tamping dark eye shadow over her lids and fire engine red lipstick painted onto her mouth.

Arin, of course, has many complaints during the process and voices every one of them, never once letting Suzy think that she actually enjoys this. It's kind of hilarious for Danny, since Arin's suffering is always over the top and amazing.

But once she can move again and she can be as noisy and disruptive as she wants, she's okay again. She walks with her head held high and tosses her head like a lion might to show off its bushy mane.

She's fucking gorgeous.

And that's the problem.

Danny can't stop looking at her when she's like this. Suzy was craving a night on the town, and Arin, being the introverted but loving wife she is, decided that she should come along. 'Girls night', she'd said, before jabbing Danny in the side. 'And Danny. Can that be a new show? Girls night-- and Dan.'

Seeing as he was stuck at their house for the evening since his car decided it would be funny to chug out by the office and Dan just plain wanted to hang out, he was invited along. No problem with that. He didn't bat an eyelid when Suzy sat her wife down for makeup... until Arin insisted on getting dolled up.

"I'm feeling it tonight. I want that girly girl experience you see in movies. One of us has to get roaring drunk and pass out in the club," she said, then pointing at Danny. "I vote you do that, I won't drink and I'm gonna be dancing with Suzy. If she steps on my foot with those heels because she lost coordination..."

And, yeah, it was funny at the time.

But now Danny is actually sat at the bar, music thumping in his chest, rum mixing with his rushing blood.

Surely Danny can just admire a pretty face, and yeah, that's exactly what Arin has, and it's not like she wasn't cute before. Danny was comfortable enough with himself to acknowledge that Arin was definitely attractive back when she and the general world believed she was a man.

This new face, new style, though-- or, no, this is the same Arin. She never stuck to muted colors, not if she could help it. She just let go, shrugged the last of her inhibitions away and now she's the actual element of "I don't give a fuck" brought to life.

That was what Danny loved about Arin before. Of course he was going to love Arin even more, seeing her loose and bright and beautiful.

Danny might have fallen for his best friend, his boss, his, his, what? What, exactly? Oh, there isn't a question about it, but maybe he wants it to be blurred. A between of friends and experimenting with something else that Danny can't find the courage to name.

Speaking of blurred.

"I fucking hate this song."

Arin plops onto the seat open next to Danny. She kicks her legs against Danny's, forcing him to notice that she has actually really nice thighs, especially when they're wrapped up in cute lilac stockings.

Lifting his head, Danny discovers that it's a song that should've fallen out of rotation months ago. He cringes at the unfortunately familiar sound of Robin Thicke's voice.

"Don't worry, you're not alone," Danny assures her, waving the song from his ears. To no avail, of course, the club has taken it upon itself to blast music as loud as the speakers possibly can. Perfect for those who want to get lost in the dance... bullshit for Danny and Arin when they'd like nothing more than to ignore the current song.

"Why aren't you out there picking anyone up? Lots of cuties here," Arin points out. Indeed, there was an attractive lot gathered together on the dance floor, lost in bright colors and way too much booze.

Yet, as fun as it looked, Danny couldn't muster up the will to be a part of the party.

"I'm just not feeling it tonight is all, dude," he shrugs, knowing very well that he's always feeling it but the cause is sitting right next to him still running her damn leg up his knee.

Genuine concern lights up Arin's face. Exploring leg dropping away, she instead extends a hand to run up and down Danny's back. Ever since she's forgotten how to give a damn, she has become much more handsy. Dan never minded before, but now he might burst into a full on rocket and explode from excitement, honestly.

"Do you need to go home? I can drive you, Suzy can't stay much longer anyway. She's getting overwhelmed."

Ah yes. Danny has driven Suzy home several times before because her brain decided to get to her and make shit difficult. If she needs to leave, then, yeah, they should go.

But Arin is bouncing in her seat, so much energy begging to be burnt off. Her fingers even trace a frantic pattern on his back, unable to keep still.

"No, just, head on out there. I'll leave when you guys are ready to head off," Danny says with a smile. It must not be as charming and convincing as it usually is, Arin doesn't lower her hand at all. "Seriously. I'm alright up here. Go have fun while Suzy is still up for it."

Arin clearly still doubts him, but she doesn't press him any further. She gives his shoulder a squeeze before flouncing off into the pulsing crowd. Her pink kitty cat sweater and glittery pastel green skirt makes her easy to pick out of the deep greens, reds, and blues.

Danny sinks on his stool, groaning. He never asked for this. He's been such a good friend, a decent co-worker he thinks, and this is what it comes to: he has to sit crossing his legs to break the will of the boner Arin left him with.

"I need another. I need something that is gonna gimme mad whiskey dick," he tells the bartender. That gets him a look but hey, he gets what he asked for, so he leaves a whole twenty dollar tip. Draining his drink in less than five seconds, he allows himself a moment to die inside because oh god what did he just put in himself.

Once he's finished writhing from the burn, he hops down from his stool. Fully intending on heading for the door, he makes it two steps before he sees the filthy floor rushing towards him.

"Oh," is all he can say before he makes heavy impact. And boy, it's heavy, he might have broken his dumb nose, or at least given himself a nosebleed. His mouth tastes of liquid pennies.

"Oh for... come on, Dan."

A familiar fussy voice creeps up on him, and a pair of gentle hands slip under his arms. All a hundred and forty pounds of him easily sweeps up off the floor, and he's dragged away from the chaos of a hundred undulating bodies.

"Thank you, Suzy," Danny slurs, the words turning to mush in his burnt up mouth. He doesn't even need to look up to know who found him the moment he made a fool of himself.

"Sure thing. I didn't think you'd actually follow along with Arin's stupid plan."

"That... is not why I am currently unable to walk," he insists, knowing how bad this must look. Suzy doesn't care, though-- she just deposits him on one of the spray painted benches outside beneath a fresh pine tree. Inhaling a little bit of nature is exactly what he needs.

He's handed a wad of tissues, presumably for his flowing nose. It’s mostly unnecessary, his nose calms down quickly but he takes the tissues anyway, dabbing away the red mess. 

"I thought you'd wanna spend the night with-- urrp, ugh, god, sorry-- with your wife."

Suzy smiles weakly and shakes her head. Despite the open space on the bench beside Danny, she decides to drop down beside his feet, folding her legs. She uses his knees as a headrest, which means he's not allowed to lay back on the bench but that's fine with Danny. So long as she's happy.

"Yeah. I was. She's got so much more energy now though," Suzy sighs. She rubs her fingers into her eyes, taking care not to smear her artful eyeliner. "I don't mind it, it means that we won't be in the house as much just playing video games. But..."

"Yeah, yeah, I gotcha," Danny nods. He really did. No matter how much a person loves somebody, sometimes they need a break. Maybe he needs a break from Arin...

They're quiet for a time, taking in whatever few stars they could see through the smog choking the LA night sky. It might be pretty if Danny could ignore the arguing couple viciously cursing one another out nearby. 

The rainbow lights spilling out of the club illuminate the couple, drowning them in color that doesn't suit their anger. Makeup streams down the woman's face, and her boyfriend's otherwise handsome face reddens, gone blotchy and gross. He looks to be about two seconds from weeping himself.

"I'm so glad you two didn't end up like them," Danny whispers to Suzy, though he hardly needs to lower his voice. Who knows, one of them could have supersonic hearing.

Pursing her lips, Suzy shakes her head and rests her chin on Danny's thigh. He pats her head absently, pleased to have a friend this close to him.

"I wouldn't yell at Arin for being who she really is," she says with a shrug. "I love her and I want her to be happy. Plus she wants my help dressing up these days and I can't say I dislike that."

Danny chuckles, it's not like he hasn't been a witness to that. He pats Suzy again, turning his eyes back to the couple across the way. They've decided to go their own separate ways, backs turned to one another, heads down.

Thank god they leave quickly, Danny wasn't sure how much more he could handle.

When he sees people that are meant to be close, he ends up thinking of those he holds close to his own heart. He pictures their own love fading, crumbling down into nothing but cold indifference, like it never happened.

He squirms, and takes a handful of Suzy's hair, gently pulling to get her attention.

"Can I tell you something?"

(He sees himself alone with Arin in the recording room. She sits too close to him, as she is wont to do, she flirts and smiles and jokes and is just. So very Arin.)

(She's cute. She laughs long and loud and throws the controller across the room when she fucks up, and Dan has to crawl on top of her to keep her from raging out of the room.)

(They lay together for too long.)

"You can tell me anything, Dan."

"... what if it's something potentially terrible?"

His voice actually cracks, like he's a twelve year old confessing to a schoolboy crush. He swallows the dry creature trying to crawl out of his throat, the one screaming that he should just straight up say he is in love with Arin and maybe they can have a threesome because that would be hot and he totally never thought about it at night to get to sleep?

"I'm disgusting," he mutters under his breath before tapping her head to get her to properly look at him. "I'm serious, Suze, you might hate me after this. Like, I wouldn't be telling you this at all if I wasn't afraid of it affecting our lives if I kept quiet."

The exhaustion lining her lovely face hardens, and she fixes him with an intense concentrated gaze.

"Whatever it is it can't be that terrible, you're the nicest guy I know. But I'm listening. I promise."

She's using her soothing voice, the one she saves for Arin when she misses her medication. That makes it much easier to tell she's taking him seriously. And that much scarier.

"Suzy..."

He bites it back, feels it surging up. At first he thinks he's getting ready to puke and he prepares to shove Suzy away from him to save her but no, he's fine, he's fine, everything is fine. Deep breaths. Deep calming breaths.

Shallow, very much not calming and wet breaths. Shaking and crying and being a total fuck up. Fuck, fuck this, fuck himself, why did this have to happen, why?

Suzy notices him going downhill sooner than he does, leaping up to stand so she can cradle his face in her gentle hands. She asks him what's wrong and progresses into just reassuring him that she's here, that whatever it is, she still loves him, that they all love him, he's their special friend and nobody could replace him.

"No, Suzy, you don't-- you don't get it!" He finds his voice amidst the ugly sobbing. Is it the drink that has him like this? Is he just that scared? "I finally... have a place where I feel like I'm not drifting through life and that it might fall through my fingers. And I have to go and probably fuck it up for myself because I'm just a fucking genius I guess!"

He's surprised he manages to get all of that out past the gross snot seeping into his nose. Too drunk to come up with a better plan, he covers his face with his shirt, getting it immediately wet. He tastes copper; he’s gone and aggravated a second nosebleed, good job.

"I just. I had to go and fall for your wife. I did. Since I'm not allowed to be happy and make everyone's lives tough."

Suzy, her hands gone now that Dan's shirt knocked them away, stays silent.

She'll curse him out in a minute. Just give her time to process how awful he is.

“Danny. Your face is gross and I’m out of tissues.”

Well, at least that’s honest. She takes him by the arm, hoisting him up to stand and follow her out into the parking lot. He still stumbles and bumbles about, made worse by an onset of hiccups that rock him from head to toe. Being a total drunk loser who just had a crying fit will do that to a person, he supposes. 

Propping him up against the side of their car, Suzy then opens the door and roots around inside for something Danny can’t see. She takes out a whole roll of paper towels, ripping off a huge wad and pressing it to his sloppy face. It’s rough and scratchy but he’ll take anything if it means not being covered in tears, snot, and blood for the rest of the evening.

“I think I missed the part where you tell me to fuck off,” Danny says, voice muffled into the towel. 

He sees Suzy, now that the sheen of tears has gone from his eyes. She stands beside him, arms crossed over herself, not in defense but she seems to be thinking, tapping her finger against her arm. Danny isn’t getting a ‘go fuck yourself’ vibe but he can’t place whatever… /this/ is. He squirms, wishing she’d say something, but he’s in no place to be pushing her around.

“I’m glad you told me, for a start.”

Glad? That’s not the word he was expecting, but, okay. He raises his eyebrows at her, gently prompting her to go on considering he has no idea what to say to that. Suzy sighs and drops her arms, reaching out to tuck one of Danny’s wild locks behind his ear. Very tender, very sweet. He hopes his blush doesn’t show up in the dark.

“I really, really am glad. I’d rather you say something before you just acted on your feelings. You’re the kind of guy who wears his heart on his sleeve so I’d expect you to act before speaking. But you didn’t and that’s really good. Thank you, Danny.”

He stares at this strange creature that he has come to know as Suzy. 

“I’m being thanked for having a boner for your wife.”

Suzy actually smirks at him, slapping him on the chest.

“You failed to mention that you wanna bone her.”

“Oh, am I in trouble /now/?” he says, mostly joking, though he keeps an apprehensive eye on her just in case. Suzy keeps her hand on his chest, standing up on her boots’ tiptoes and pecking him very, /very/ lightly on his swollen nose. He’s definitely blushing now. “I guess not.”

“No. No, you’re not, sweetheart,” Suzy says sweetly. Coming back down, she tucks her hands into her dress pockets and smiles up at him. “Don’t worry. It’s easy to fall in love with Arin. Why do you think I stuck around this long?”

Danny returns the smile, even though it hurts his face. 

“I just want to say… that I don’t know if Arin returns those feelings,” she says after a moment. “I’m not gonna ask her how she feels about you, that’s something for her to figure out on her own time. But I’m not stopping either of you if something happens.”

The smile drops, along with Danny’s stomach. Too much emotional turmoil for someone this drunk. He swallows back several foul tasting creatures that try to crawl out from his throat.

“I don’t kn-- you sound like you’re giving me permission? Almost? Maybe?”

“You’ve got a discerning ear, Danny. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

That’s it. He has to sit down. Too much. The parking lot gravel cuts into his jeans and scrapes on his ass but he’s better off on the ground where he can wonder how he got this lucky. 

There’s not much he can say, beyond gentle thank yous, over and over, until they break apart into peals of bubbly laughter. Of course this would be how it goes, of course, of course. It’s Suzy, it’s Arin, the two best people in his life, and he doubted for a second that he would lose them because he happened to soften up for one of them? God, goddamn. His chest hurts from the laughter but he can’t stop, he’s giddy and over the moon and the club doesn’t exist, it’s just this cold spot of ground keeping him from rocketing into the sky.

“Danny, you alright? Oh dear…”

Suzy, despite the obvious concern in her voice, laughs as well, infected. She stoops down to his level, rubbing his shoulder and giggling at him.

Danny can’t remember much of what happens after that. He knows they went back in-- or, Suzy went back after strapping Danny into the back car seat, and fetched Arin because he couldn’t bear to look her in the eye. Much like a child might, Danny feigns sleep so that he can keep from being dragged into the excitable mostly one-sided whisper-conversation the two married ones are having. 

What he does remember is lying awake in the guest bed, vibrating in place, holding his phone. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t think.

He could only text, as drunk people tend to do.

Opening up Arin’s inbox, he drops in his words, one tap at a time.

‘We need to talk later, babe.’


End file.
